now i know why i became what i already was.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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