i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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