**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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