Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
where am i from again
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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