My brain says no but my pants say off.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
