I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
