So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
