Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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