take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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