i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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