im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
