can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
