Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
