just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
