i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
