Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
