You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Randomize