i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
