Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
