Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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