mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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