I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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