I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
