lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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