Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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