Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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