He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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