I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Green mimosas i think yes
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
