the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
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