He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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