She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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