thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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