Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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