is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
