She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
