And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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