Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
