can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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