Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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