it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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