this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
