the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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