please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
