Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
