i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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