i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
