i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
please come you make the beer taste better
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
