she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
