Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
