So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
