How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
