Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize