I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
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