Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
so much tequila, so little girl.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
