I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
