then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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