bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
