awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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