do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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