I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
You smell like stripper and shame
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
vagina is talking i cant
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
