either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
