And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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