We're like a lot better than the average bears
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
