Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
