and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
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All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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